& Silence Declares♥

3 years ago, i got to know u during the bishan park outing...

We started chatting when u added me on friendster and subsequntly on msn... Indeed much have happens throughout these 3 years and we form a clique with my bros and sh...

All the birthday celebrations were memories that are being treasured most by me... All the funs and jokes being shared, it is deeply treasured...

Knowing u and the clique is one of the most special moment that happen to me... The kind of support that u gave me during the times that I'm down really motivates me...

I just wana say a big thank you to you!!!

However, at the time when u r down, i'm unable to help, motivate u or even cheer u up... I really hope that u would have told me at least something, but I can only rely on others to find what prob r u facing... I feel that I have failed as a friend..

Please cheer up!!! I believe u can tide through ur difficult period... Maybe i'm wrong, maybe i assume too much... However, I just wana tell u that i really care... =)

JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!!!

Silence ;

是先寂寞才孤独，还是先孤独才寂寞？

Silence ;

当自己一个人在房间时总是感到孤单与寂寞。

一个有家归不得的男孩就像是一只迷了路的小羊，不知该如何是好。

好希望有一天能回得了家。

如果当初能克制自己的话也许今天就不会有这种悲剧发生了。

道义每次提到人要有平常心，只希望自己能早日修到此心那所有的烦恼都能跟着云消烟灭．

Silence ;

It has been a week since i last blog...

What has happen for these past 7 days??? If u were to ask me, I would answer you the same old standard answer on normal days... However for the past week, lots have happen to me during my stay in the 5 days 4 nights Scout Camp that I went to and not only that, things at home have gone for the worst...

1) After returning back to Scouting from my absence of 2.5 years, I guess i have alot of things to catch up with... It was really great to be able to see all my mentors again in this camp and once again, they have taught me new things... =)

2) I did a self reflection during this camp... I realise how much I have really grown throughout the past 2.5 years... From a boy who just want to do thing his way and viewing things at a very naive way, to someone who is able to give things a much detailed and further thoughts... Not only that, I realise I'm much more initative compare to the past... For once, I'm no longer that self-centre... Self-centre in this case does not mean than I'm selfish or what... But it just mean the kind of recognition I hope to attain...However, I no longer go for the recognition of anything that I have done... Or rather such thing r not impt to me anymore... In the camp, there are time where the participants just commented to me that the Trainers are not as tired compared to them etc... If it was 2.5 years ago me, I would have really blasted that person on the amount of thing a Trainer has to do and the amount of sleep they get every night... But when they told me that that day, I just merely smile at them and say that things might not be as simple as it seem... Sometimes, doing thing behind the scene is much better than being in the limelight, coz being in the limelight just simply mean that u r not allowed to make any mistakes... I guess I'm enjoying being the silence angel behind the scene...

3) This camp also allow me to have another realisation... Being in the midst of the forest in Sarimbum just make feel totally relax... Like I'm away from the rest of the world without any stress and obligations... It just gave me that vacation feel and I found back something that I treasure greatly 2.5 years ago... That would be my love and feels to be with nature... Nothing matches the serenity of the place in the wilds...

4) As I have said, things at home have gone for the worst... I would say that I'm finally at my wit's end... Thus,I'm hoping for nature to run its due course and praying that LM would let everything be tide over soon... Nothing matches the helplessness of being unable to return back home... Especially when it is the holiday period for me... I no longer know how long can I cover up the fact that I'm unable to return home and have to stay in hall... The feeling isn't good... But I just have to bear with it.... Sometime, I'm just wondering... Did I not do enough for my mum?? If not, I duno why she chase me out of the house and shut herself off from everyone who cares for her???

5) Enough if my family prob being said... As the proverb goes, it takes 2 hands to clap... If my mum refuses to open the door to her heart to me... All I can do is to just keep praying and smsing her to let her know that I care...

I'm really tempted to say that I am failure in being a son to my mum...

No matter what other says, I still think I am the biggest failure... Coz I can't even keep my family intact...

Guess I'm going to end this entry this way... As for whether I'm a failure or not, those of you who are reading this entry, please do not let me know of the answer you have in your heart...

Take Care and may LM looks over all of you...

Silence ;

Heyo people,

sorry for not updating for so long... Have been kinda busy with alot of stuffs... Lot of camp coming also...

Anyway, for those who duno, I be away from 03/06/2009 to 07/06/2009... I will be having Scout Camp on these few days...

Still feeling tired from the lack of slp due to sundown marathon... Thus, I think i'm going to rest alot more... =)

Nothing to update since i'm kinda back to normal again... Thus, those of u who really care for me and love me, dun have to worry so much... Coz the smiley Lawrence is Back In Action!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=DDDD

Silence ;